In case you need an excuse, May is masterbation month... so do you part and spank one out!
In our climate of sexual awareness, it's hard to believe how it all started:
In 1994 Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders gave a speech at the United Nations world AIDS day.
During follow up questions, she was asked if masturbation was useful as a way of discouraging risky sexual activity among young people. She responded "I think it is something that is part of human sexuality and a part of something that perhaps should be taught".
She was promptly fired by then president Bill Clinton. (Are you freaken kidding!).
Good Vibrations (a California based sex company) decided to show its solidarity by starting Masturbation day on May 7th.
Not sure why, but the May 28th was also added... then we all just seem to have said 'Fuck it' and turned it into Masturbation month.
So, get out there and do your part!